“Faith isn’t the ability to believe long and far into the misty future. It’s simply taking God at His Word and taking the next step.”  
~ Joni Erickson Tada

So . . . where do things stand with all those Rosenow kids? We have a few answers — in the short-term anyway.

Nathan spent two nights in the hospital, and while we weren’t able to get completely clear answers, we were able to at least determine that the changes and increases in medication were definitely making things worse. He is doing much, much better now that we removed these meds. He is scheduled for a PET scan in a couple of weeks and then we’ll follow up with his neurologist again.

The doctors insisted on keeping Nathan sleep deprived to increase the chances of inducing a seizure; as a result, Scott and I were also very sleep deprived by the time we all got home. Even during the few hours we were allowed to try to sleep, I wasn’t able to. My brain was working on so many things, but for most of that time, I was able to pray and even felt God’s presence and leading in ways in which I’m not often able while walking through the hustle and bustle of daily life at home. And Scott and I made some big decisions.

Some of these decisions concern our almost-adult children and tough choices about their futures. Remember all those little kids we adopted? At one point we had nine children under the age of nine! Well, they are all becoming adults now, many at the same time, and piling up at the front door as Scott and I face the at-this-moment-overwhelming task of getting them out into the world. We knew this day would come eventually. We aren’t sure how it got here so fast. Now that we’re standing on the brink of it and looking at all it will involve, it’s even harder than we expected it to be, and harder in different ways than we expected it to be. I’ll be honest. Sometimes, when I stop trusting God with the things “long and far into the misty future,” I’m absolutely terrified about this next phase of life with them.

Scott with our “nine-under-nine” kids 12 years ago

I’m tempted to listen to the lies in my head that say, “They would’ve been much better off and had better opportunities if they had come home to a family with fewer children and more money.” That may turn into another whole blog post someday, but for now, I’ll just say that God has given us some clarity about a few next steps, and much peace about trusting Him for the steps after those. And He has also lovingly reminded us that He is the one who decided what family these children belonged in. Bringing them here — to us — is part of His plan for their futures, even if we can’t understand how.

Other decisions we made concern the whole family and choices about their medical care.

During the days leading up to Nathan’s hospitalization, we were listening to our little ones pray before bedtime one night. We were struck by the choice of wording in their prayers. “Dear God, please help tomorrow not to be so stressful.” And, “Thank you, God, that today wasn’t as stressful as yesterday.”

We felt like we were peeking into their little hearts (just as I peeked to snap these pictures) and seeing some of what the past few months had been causing them to feel and think. And while we thrilled to hear them go to their Heavenly Father with these feelings, we also knew that, even though we have to trust God to handle the stress-inducing aspects of our life that we can’t control, we needed to examine closely any ways to reduce stress in areas we can control.

• So first of all, we declared our first full day home from the hospital (a Friday) our second official Tomato Soup Day. This was a good first step toward bringing rest, relaxation, and a re-set into the tense atmosphere here at home.

• Scott and I focused on leaning harder on God for the strength and patience we need to guide the family through this tough patch we currently find ourselves in, and we tried to make ourselves even more physically and emotionally present throughout that whole weekend to give the kids large doses of our time and attention.

• We contacted our urologist and explained the situation, asking if he felt comfortable postponing Jaden’s surgery while we focused on getting the other kids stable. He has been caring for our children for fifteen years now and understands the importance of prioritizing needs. He readily agreed that, while Jaden does need this surgery, some of the other children’s needs are more urgent, so Jaden’s can wait for now. Just knowing we weren’t entering the hospital on Feb. 28 for a 10-14 day stay, instantly removed a lot of stress and anxiety for all of us.

One last thing we decided over that weekend, after checking the weather forecast, was to punt regular school and head to the zoo that Monday for a field trip. We totally forgot that public schools were out for President’s Day, and most of Cincinnati also chose that day for a trip to the zoo. Maneuvering our motley crew and six wheelchairs through the crowds made the day not quite as relaxing as we had pictured, but it was still a fun day.

Then on the way home, things took a very interesting turn when our big van — the one Scott was driving with most of the kids and wheelchairs as I followed behind in the minivan with the rest of the kids and wheelchairs — broke down (again!) on 75N. Initially, Scott and I both felt like putting our heads on the steering wheels of our respective vehicles and crying. Thankfully, that only lasted a few seconds. We, pretty quickly, managed to grab hold of the truth that we wouldn’t be there unless God had some reason born of His perfect wisdom and perfect love and perfect understanding of good, and we put our heads together to begin making plans for getting the van towed and all of the kids and their equipment home.

In the end, a neighbor who happened to already be in that part of town, was able to take six of the kids home; our oldest daughter brought their large van and took home the next nine kids and some of the wheelchairs; the broken van was towed to the repair shop, where it’s still sitting almost a week later; and Scott and I took the rest of the kids and equipment home in the mini-van.

While this incident did add to Scott’s and my stress as the grownups in charge and responsible for handling everything, most of the kids seemed to think it was just a great adventure. Since our biggest concern was trying to alleviate stress for them, we were relieved to see their reaction to this surprise incident. Once we got everyone home, we ended the way we traditionally end days that include car breakdowns. We had ice cream with toppings, and watched old episodes of I Love Lucy. If you’ve read our book, then you know that this tradition dates back to years ago when Scott coined the phrase, “if you can’t beat the dragon, then throw a party.” Overall it was a good, if tiring, day.

Waiting in a long line to see the giraffes

Many happy smiles at the zoo

An elevator full of a small overall percentage of Rosenows

Dead van. What to do now!?

Our neighbor rescuing the first six kids

Little cluster of kids in the median drew a lot of attention from other drivers

Our daughter taking the next nine kids and some of their wheelchairs

A State Farm Assist Patrol driver stopped to help keep us safe while we waited for the tow truck

An Evendale police officer also stopped to help

Our old van finally being towed to its home away from home, Danco repair shop

The next day — Tuesday — we plunged into one of our most exhausting weeks ever. A week absolutely packed with appointments all piled on top of each other. By the end of the week, we were all exhausted again, and I was running fever and fighting a stomach bug. But we had some plans in place for more next steps. 

• A visit with our urologist officially confirmed that Kathryn does have to have a major bladder surgery to build a Mitrofanoff, which is an opening in her abdomen that will allow us to begin catheterizing her every 3-4 hours for the rest of her life. This is necessary because of how very difficult it is to catheterize her traditionally due to her severe cerebral palsy. Our kids with spina bifida have had (or are having) this surgery done too, but for other reasons and with additional steps for reconstruction of their bladders. It is our prayer that Kathryn will only need this one piece done. If that’s the case, her surgery and recovery should be easier than it has been for the other kids.

• One of our big concerns has been when to do this surgery. It needs to be done soon because of the above-mentioned challenges of cathing her when she runs into trouble, but there’s a pretty long wait for OR time for this particular surgery. This wait would push us out to spring or summer, interfering with Kathryn’s swimming. This is a huge deal because swimming is the only real exercise Kathryn is able to get, and that’s critically important for her overall health. We, along with our surgeon, have put a workable plan in place that will hopefully hold her until the end of August. She typically hits a period of urinary retention (which sometimes also includes another urinary tract infection) about every three weeks. In between those times, she is able to void on her own and remain fairly normal, but when she hits these periods, a Foley must be placed for a few days to allow her bladder to rest and re-set itself. While this routine isn’t a viable long-term solution, we feel we can keep it going long enough to get her through the summer. These steps will protect her bladder during the wait for her surgery. So they have set us up with supplies here at the house to continue this cycle: place Foley; let her bladder rest for a few days (treating infection when needed); remove Foley; allow her to empty normally for however long she is able (usually about three weeks); repeat. We pray she will hold steadily to this pattern until her surgery, which is scheduled for August 22.

• Roslyn’s botox injections to her bladder haven’t made any difference at all for her. It’s pretty certain now that she will have to go back into the hospital for another surgery. This one will include the very difficult addition of a bladder augmentation now. That is tentatively set for October once Kathryn is through her surgery.

• We will break for the holidays and then tentatively plan for Jaden’s surgery next February, possibly followed by Lilyan’s that September.

We honestly don’t know how many of these plans will actually end up the way we are hoping, but all we know to do is just keep taking the next step and the next, adjusting as God reveals any changes He has, since He holds the only set of Master Plans.

One last thing. Many of you know that Scott’s younger brother was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer last spring while Scott was going through his cancer treatments. Brian and his wife Karen have been beautiful examples of trusting God along unseen paths as they have walked this very difficult and unexpected way. You can see an awesome video about their story and their testimony by clicking here. Things are continuing to progress for Brian, and while Scott and I know that we will spend eternity with Brian eventually, our hearts have been longing to see him again before the time comes for him to go Home. Finances and the kids’ ongoing medical issues have prevented us from doing that, up to this point.

We feel like we have a better understanding of what’s going on with all of the kids, and now that we have them somewhat stable, we feel like we could slip away for a couple of days with Greg and Kristie moving in here to stay with them. Thanks to financial help from dear friends and our loving church, we will be making a quick run down to Birmingham next weekend. A nurse friend has agreed to be available should Kathryn or Nathan need her intervention while we are gone. We are looking forward to this special time of fellowship with Brian and Karen.

As always, our hearts ache for ways to express the deep gratitude we feel for those who link arms with us, and even carry us when needed. Thank you, all of you, for staying by our sides as we keep taking next steps, one at a time, trusting God to grow our faith and to handle those steps that are not yet clear to us.

Wow! The last week has been so hard. I’ll recap a bit:

• Last Tuesday, January 31, Nathan had a really bad seizure that didn’t respond at all to his emergency meds. Scott and I were at a routine appointment for me, and tried to, over the phone, talk 18-year-old Robyn through how to care for him until our oldest daughter and son-in-law could get to the house. We are now very hesitant to leave the house at all unless it’s absolutely necessary.
• The next day, Wednesday, he had another, but the emergency meds worked to stop it and he slept most of the afternoon.
• On Thursday, he remained more stable than we’ve seen him in a long time, and that was a good thing because Channel 12 had tentatively planned to do a little story on our family and our newest family member. We were able to go through with those plans and were actually very blessed by their visit our home. If you’d like to see that interview and learn about this new family member, you can see it here.  You can watch the video by clicking the photo of our family at the top of the article.
• Friday, Nathan had another seizure, and Kathryn began having problems again that resulted in her having to be catheterized.
• Saturday, as we were trying to prepare for birthday celebrations for Caelyn and Jaden, Nathan had another bad seizure that failed to respond to the emergency meds, and Kathryn got worse. We had to place a Foley catheter to stay in place for Kathryn, and spent most of the afternoon by Nathan’s side. Thankfully, everyone was stable enough by evening to enjoy the birthday celebration. (And Jaden was super excited about his new Captain America costume.)
• Sunday brought another seizure for Nathan, and Kathryn seemed to be getting worse.

That brings us to today. I woke up this morning kind of dreading the day and what it might bring with it. During my quiet time before the day actually got going, I spent my prayer time asking God to help us trust Him with whatever the day held. One of the quotes I read this morning was this beautiful one from Charles Spurgeon:

“I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.”

Wow! What peace we would all find if we could only do this. This is one of my ongoing prayers, and I think that the phrase, “kiss the wave” will become a regular one around here now.

And yesterday, I stumbled across this one from C. S. Lewis:

“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ‘own,’ or ‘real’ life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life — the life God is sending one day by day.” 

Everything that happens to us during a day is part of God’s plan for continuing to refine us and teach us to lean harder on Him. I so long to submit to this teaching with joy. I want to embrace all that He has for us and trust Him as we walk this current path. It’s easy to miss the beauty He has for us in the pain if we just keep looking past it and waiting for it to be over. I confess that I’m not strong enough to do this, but God has promised to give us strength in our weakness.

And today did bring many hard things that we weren’t strong enough for.

Among those was yet another seizure for Nathan that completely disrupted our school day. The kids are all feeling so worried for him and are showing signs of the stress that is part of daily life here right now. After contacting Neurology and filling them on the weekend, they have decided to admit Nathan to the hospital for 1-3 days and nights of a continuous EEG. Unfortunately, there are no openings for this until Tuesday, February, 14. Our neurologist is planning to keep Nathan somewhat sedated between now and then to try to control the seizures, and we are on a cancellation list in case something opens up before then.

Also, Kathryn’s culture results this morning showed that she has another bad urinary tract infection, which explains why she is continuing to get sicker. We were finally able to get her on an antibiotic this afternoon, but she is in a lot of pain now. We have left her Foley in place and are waiting for Urology to call us back with a long-term plan for her.

But God’s blessings were right there in the middle of everything, too. My friend dropped off our huge Click List order this morning, and I thanked God, one more time, for this dear friend who runs this errand for us every single week. What would I do without her?!

Another friend is going to provide food for the family while we are in the hospital with Nathan. This will help so much as Greg and Kristen move over here to stay with the kids and deal with any emergencies Kathryn might have.

Tomorrow, another dear friend will deliver our milk, eggs, and butter from Springboro. She also runs this errand for us every single week, and we can never express how much this means to us

And although the older kids are all experiencing weariness from the continual stress and from trying to help us carry the younger kids through this time, they gathered in the kitchen this afternoon — without even being asked to do so— to prepare dinner for the family. There is so much that is wonderful here inside our walls in spite of the pain and sadness that’s overshadowing the days right now, and in spite of the regular challenges any family faces as they raise adopted children from tough backgrounds. We have so much to be thankful for.

As I type this update, Kathryn is snuggled here on the couch beside me, resting and fairly peaceful, while we wait for her antibiotic to start working its magic. And I’m thinking again of those words, “I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages,” as I lean into this Rock and try to trust Him to take us, step by step, through the days to come.

Life has continued to roll along at a pace that takes our breath away and keeps us feeling like we need to move faster if we want to keep up.

I remember when I took swimming lessons as a child. My mother had never learned to swim very well, and was determined that her children would be able to keep themselves safe in the water. I was terrified. Not being able to feel the bottom of the pool under my feet would send me into a panic every time.

Eventually, I did learn to swim well enough to be able to enjoy playing in a pool, but I never liked spending much time in deep water. At the end of those classes, we had to pass our swimming test, and I still remember the stress I felt about that day. The part of the test that I was most anxious about was treading water. Our instructor told us to just relax and try to enjoy the feeling of moving our arms and legs rhythmically while staying afloat.

Seriously!? I was never able to do that; I never got past the fear that I was on the verge of sinking beneath the water, and the frantic feeling of trying to keep that from happening while waiting for her to finally tell me I could stop. I passed my swimming test, but to this day, I don’t enjoy treading water.

That’s very much how we feel most days right now. We knew back in the summer that we were already facing a tough year with three huge bladder surgeries. This is not new territory for us. We already know the things that can go wrong with these surgeries, the toll that being in the hospital for one to three weeks each time takes on our family, the impact of the long and difficult weeks of recovery even after we come home, and the many weeks required to help us bounce back from the fatigue that follows once the get-us-through-it adrenaline drains away.

But we knew that our children’s health depended on getting them done, so we came up with a schedule that we thought would work for our family and that would interfere as little as possible with the kids’ school schedule.

Our plan was to do Roslyn’s surgery in September, 2016. Done. She nailed that daunting item on our check list with amazing strength and came home faster than anyone expected.

One down, two to go.

Jaden was supposed to be next, and for now, he is scheduled for March 2 — exactly when we had hoped they would schedule his so that he can be recovered in time to swim this summer. He had to do a spine surgery first, but that was also a doable thing. So, on January 9, we checked that one off our list, too.

Meghan also had to have another hand surgery, but again, this was a doable thing, so we penciled her in for February 6, hoping to get her well on the way to recovery before Jaden’s big one.

Our perfectly designed plan then had Lilyan going in for her big bladder surgery in September — after swimming season, but in time for her to recover before the 2017 holidays.

This looked like a not-very-fun plan, but one that we could make work. We liked the idea of knowing we would have these major, life-altering surgeries behind us before the end of 2017, and we were ready to put our heads down and get it done.

Then things began to fall apart.

I’ve alluded to these new challenges in previous posts, but I’ll spell them out clearly here so that you know what’s going on and how to pray for us.

Roslyn: Her most recent tests show that her September bladder surgery is failing. Her doctor will try injecting botox into her bladder next week, with the hope that it will resolve the problems. Truthfully, though, we know that this is unlikely. We know that we are probably looking at what’s called a bladder augmentation. This is a surgery that’s even bigger than the one she just came through. We’ve already been through two of these with Caelyn and Owen, and our hearts quake at the thought of doing one again.

Kathryn: Our no-longer-so-little baby Kathryn is now nearing her 13th birthday. She has astounded everyone over the past couple of years with her ability to potty train and achieve total continence. But she is now suddenly struggling with severe and very painful bouts of urinary retention. Each time this happens, we are forced to catheterize her (which is a huge deal because of her cerebral palsy), and twice over the past three months, she has ended up with a Foley (an indwelling catheter) to allow her bladder to re-set and try working again. Her recent testing indicates that the CP that causes her pelvic floor to be incredibly tight is just making it too hard now for her bladder to continue doing its job. Unbelievably, we are probably now looking at having to do the same bladder reconstruction surgery on her that our kids with spina bifida have to have done. It’s possible that we will have to do this very soon. And this is a massive surgery. We have no idea how we could get her through anything this difficult with her cognitive struggles and tendency to begin having seizures when she is under stress. We don’t even want to try to imagine this.

Nathan: This boy (who is actually a young man of 19 now) has been through so much over the past couple of years, and we have been openly rejoicing that he is finally free of pain and wearing his new and awesome prosthesis. This has been like a fresh start for him, and through God’s perfectly designed plan, he was supposed to have started an apprenticeship with his prosthetist on January 17. He was super excited about that. But he is suddenly  having seizures that have put almost everything about his life on hold again. These seizures are, like Kathryn’s, called simple partial seizures, and they are horrible. They usually involve the illusion that walls and/or floors are moving — sometimes undulating. And they sometimes result in actual hallucinations which are often terrifying. We have, for years, witnessed Kathryn’s sheer terror when she goes through her seizures, but because of her developmental disabilities, she has never had the ability to relate to us what she actually sees. Nathan is fully capable of describing in great detail what happens when his seizures hit, and these are more than any person should have to endure. We are continuing to work with our neurologist to find a way to control them, even though we may never be able to discover what’s caused them to suddenly become part of Nathan’s life. He had a severe one this past Sunday afternoon that lasted over an hour and manifested almost like a stroke. During that seizure, Nathan was unable to think clearly, had trouble with word retrieval, and lost most of his control over his tongue, making it very difficult for him to speak. This really scared all of us. Afterward, he was exhausted, had a terrible headache, and felt like his speech and thought processes were slow for the next 24 hours or so. He is currently on anti-seizure medication now, but still had seizures again on Thursday and Friday, and Friday’s was another bad one. We will see his doctor again on January 26.

So where does this leave us? Constantly on alert for Nathan and for Kathryn; unsure what any given day will hold for us. And while we know that we will be having a bladder surgery on March 2, we don’t, yet, know which child will actually be going with us to the hospital that day for surgery. And of course this also now makes it impossible for us to have these big surgeries behind us by the end of this year as we had hoped. Treading water . . .

We are striving hard to release our hold on the plans for our lives and just live life one day at a time, letting God reveal His plans in His perfect time. He’s the only one who knows the script. So we will follow Him. We try, each day, to find ways to keep the feeling of stress in the house at a minimum and to keep life as normal as possible for the kids. They all look to us for some idea about how they should be reacting, and they trust us to keep their world stable. Please pray for us as we try to do this to the best of our ability.

Lastly, I wrote a post on my personal blog last night to share how God blessed our family’s holiday season by using His people to touch our lives. Many of you were praying for us and were even among those who gave of yourselves in some way. Please pop over and read that blog, “And Then There Were Presents; But What If There Hadn’t Been?,” by clicking on the title. That post also includes quite a few photos from this special Christmas season.

And please know how much we appreciate each of you.

Nathan, just beginning to come out of his worst seizure yet. Our golden retriever, Saxon, insisted on staying with Nathan like this until the seizure passed. It was the second time he did this. Dogs are amazing.

Kathryn showing relief when she realized we were taking her to have a Foley placed. She has learned that this stops her pain. You can see from her eyes how these episodes affect her globally.

Roslyn, at a recent family outing to spend a gift card, looking deceptively healthy in spite of what’s going inside her unhealthy bladder

I just published a new post to my personal blog, “Owning My Nothingness.” I chose to write this post on that blog because it’s mostly a post from my heart. But in and through it there’s updated info on our family, too — Jaden’s surgery, new medical challenge for Kathryn and Nathan . . .

So if you’re interested, click on this title and head on over to read the latest news: “A Wasted Day Not Wasted.” 

As always, thank you so much for your continued prayers and love for our family. Those things keep us on our feet way more than you know.

Jaden just before surgery

Jaden on his way home from the hospital on Tuesday

On Sunday, 9/11, Nathan turned nineteen, the country honored the fifteenth anniversary of the terrorist attacks on our country, and Scott and I left eighteen of our children at home under the loving and capable care of their oldest sister and brother-in-law while we brought Roslyn down to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. Roslyn was admitted and started her two days of prep for one of the biggest surgeries we ever do with our children.

The next two days, while not completely bump-free, went better than we’ve ever experienced with any of our kids who have already been through this.

Roslyn faced a really difficult IV insertion by immersing herself in her iPad games and occasionally looking up at us for strength.

Trying a couple of different spots to make the IV work

Once her IV was successfully inserted by the awesome VAT (Vascular Access Team) here, it was time for the NG (nasogastric) tube placement, which would be used to pump large quantities of bowel-cleaning liquid into Roslyn’s stomach. This is one of the main steps the kids all dread the most. (I don’t blame them). Once again, Roslyn did such a beautiful job of moving through this process with grace and peace. She shed two quiet tears, one of which can be seen in the close-up below, but recovered well as soon as it was done.

The rest of that day was a blur of changing messy diapers, watching the Bengals win their first game, coloring, and playing with her toy princesses.

The Bengals’ game wasn’t looking very hopeful at this point.

That night held little sleep for any of us because of ongoing issues with Roslyn’s IV, but none of those was particularly traumatic. Just very tiring.

Monday morning started with plans for placement of Roslyn’s PICC (Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter) line. This will be used for her medications, fluids and lab draws for the remainder of her hospital stay. This can be a painful procedure, but we have a really great PICC team here, and Roslyn once again faced this with courage and a quiet calm.

During this procedure, one of the PICC team members commented on how clear it was that Roslyn trusts us so deeply. She had worked with enough children from broken homes and orphanages to know that this isn’t something that just happens for these kids. The fact that Roslyn drew her strength from having us at her side, that she looked to us to help her determine when she should be scared, and that she honestly believed us when we assured she was safe and tried to calm any of her fears, was a beautiful testimony of the healing that can take place for these children once they come home. We thank God when we see these tangible signs of healing in our children.

Once her PICC was in place, I headed down to the gift shop to pick up a little something special for our brave little girl. She loves dogs, and I found a cute little, very fuzzy stuffed dog that wasn’t very expensive. There were, in fact, two of these dogs—one in a girl version (with pink ears and a pink spot down her back), named Maddie; and one in a boy version (with brown ears and a brown spot down his back), named Murphy. I liked Murphy the best, but knowing this girl and her love of all things pink, I chose Maddie for her.

Roslyn loved this dog so much, but kept forgetting her name and decided to change it to Maggie, which was easier for her to remember for some reason. The bond between the two of them was instant.

Roslyn with her beloved Maggie last night after Ros’s NG tube had been removed —once her final clean-out treatment had been administered.

While we were talking about where I had gotten Maggie, I mentioned to Roslyn that Maggie actually had a brother in the gift shop, too, and that his name was Murphy.

I should’ve thought that through before speaking, because of Roslyn’s history with Jaden. I can only use the lack of sleep as an excuse for that.

Roslyn and Jaden were raised together as infants in China. They were very close and shared an almost-twin-like relationship. Sadly, Jaden was moved to another facility a few months before we got there to meet them and bring them home. We didn’t know any of this ahead of time, but it was really traumatic for Roslyn when they were separated. When we met them that day in China, it was the first time they had seen each other in months—a reunion for them. They kept calling each other by their Chinese names and stroking each other’s faces. Only later did we learn about the story behind what we witnessed that day.

For the first few months after we came home, Roslyn didn’t want to be away from Jaden at all during their hours awake. She had to watch us put Jaden safely into his bed before she would go to her own room and go to sleep, and they had to go to all appointments together, even if only one of them was seeing the doctor. One night when Roslyn fell out of her bed and cried out loudly, we heard Jaden yelling from his room down the hall and found him frantically trying to get himself out of bed so he could get to her.

When Roslyn heard that Maggie had a brother who had been left behind, she looked a little panicked and kept saying quietly, “He’s downstairs and she’s upstairs?” and “He will be sleeping down there all alone tonight?” It actually seemed really upsetting to her.

As they were taking Roslyn to pre-op this morning, people were asking her what her dog’s name is (Maggie went into surgery with her). At one point, she looked up with a super sad face and said, “She has a brother named Murphy, but he’s still in the gift shop.” It actually brought tears to our eyes. This was obviously touching something deep inside our little girl.

Headed to surgery this morning; scared, but continuing to look to us for the courage she needed to see this through.

As Roslyn realized it was almost time for her to tell us goodbye, silent tears started to run down her cheeks, and she began to tremble. She snuggled Maggie tightly under her left arm, and clutched a photo of her family in her left hand. She calmed down and trusted us as we whispered in her ear and stroked her hair. She would look at her family picture and then into our faces and draw strength from those who love her so very much.

Very soon after that, the team administered Versed through her PICC line, and she immediately became drowsy and relaxed as they wheeled her away from us and into the OR.

That was at 7:30 this morning, and surgery officially began at 8:30. They have planned eleven hours for this surgery, but it could be shorter or longer than that, depending on what they find inside our baby’s little body.

 As soon as she was in surgery, Scott and I decided that it was really important that she wake up and find out that Maggie and Murphy had been reunited. So in spite of a really tight budget at the moment we went downstairs, spent another $13, and rescued Murphy from the gift shop. I think Murphy was actually smiling as we walked out of there.

I think Roslyn will also smile a lot once she is awake and aware of fact that her heart can rest now. I think she will sleep better tonight, knowing that Murphy and Maggie are together and sleeping in her bed.

One important piece of helping our children learn to trust us is knowing their hearts; understanding their needs and their fears and what’s behind those; listening with more than just our ears.

Maybe these puppies should’ve been named Roslyn and Jaden.

We just wanted to let you all know that we are blown away! Every meal during our long upcoming hospital stay with Roslyn is provided for now. In fact, I think there are even a couple of extras for after we get home, which will be awesome because Scott and I always arrive home from these stays completely exhausted, and Roslyn will have abdominal drains that will require care for awhile after we get home.

Thank you, thank you, thank you with all our hearts. We are incredibly blessed by you.