Wow! The last week has been so hard. I’ll recap a bit:
- Last Tuesday, January 31, Nathan had a really bad seizure that didn’t respond at all to his emergency meds. Scott and I were at a routine appointment for me, and tried to, over the phone, talk 18-year-old Robyn through how to care for him until our oldest daughter and son-in-law could get to the house. We are now very hesitant to leave the house at all unless it’s absolutely necessary.
- The next day, Wednesday, he had another, but the emergency meds worked to stop it and he slept most of the afternoon.
- On Thursday, he remained more stable than we’ve seen him in a long time, and that was a good thing because Channel 12 had tentatively planned to do a little story on our family and our newest family member. We were able to go through with those plans and were actually very blessed by their visit our home. If you’d like to see that interview and learn about this new family member, you can see it here. You can watch the video by clicking the photo of our family at the top of the article.
- Friday, Nathan had another seizure, and Kathryn began having problems again that resulted in her having to be catheterized.
- Saturday, as we were trying to prepare for birthday celebrations for Caelyn and Jaden, Nathan had another bad seizure that failed to respond to the emergency meds, and Kathryn got worse. We had to place a Foley catheter to stay in place for Kathryn, and spent most of the afternoon by Nathan’s side. Thankfully, everyone was stable enough by evening to enjoy the birthday celebration. (And Jaden was super excited about his new Captain America costume.)
- Sunday brought another seizure for Nathan, and Kathryn seemed to be getting worse.
That brings us to today. I woke up this morning kind of dreading the day and what it might bring with it. During my quiet time before the day actually got going, I spent my prayer time asking God to help us trust Him with whatever the day held. One of the quotes I read this morning was this beautiful one from Charles Spurgeon:
“I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.”
Wow! What peace we would all find if we could only do this. This is one of my ongoing prayers, and I think that the phrase, “kiss the wave” will become a regular one around here now.
And yesterday, I stumbled across this one from C. S. Lewis:
“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ‘own,’ or ‘real’ life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life — the life God is sending one day by day.”
Everything that happens to us during a day is part of God’s plan for continuing to refine us and teach us to lean harder on Him. I so long to submit to this teaching with joy. I want to embrace all that He has for us and trust Him as we walk this current path. It’s easy to miss the beauty He has for us in the pain if we just keep looking past it and waiting for it to be over. I confess that I’m not strong enough to do this, but God has promised to give us strength in our weakness.
And today did bring many hard things that we weren’t strong enough for.
Among those was yet another seizure for Nathan that completely disrupted our school day. The kids are all feeling so worried for him and are showing signs of the stress that is part of daily life here right now. After contacting Neurology and filling them on the weekend, they have decided to admit Nathan to the hospital for 1-3 days and nights of a continuous EEG. Unfortunately, there are no openings for this until Tuesday, February, 14. Our neurologist is planning to keep Nathan somewhat sedated between now and then to try to control the seizures, and we are on a cancellation list in case something opens up before then.
Also, Kathryn’s culture results this morning showed that she has another bad urinary tract infection, which explains why she is continuing to get sicker. We were finally able to get her on an antibiotic this afternoon, but she is in a lot of pain now. We have left her Foley in place and are waiting for Urology to call us back with a long-term plan for her.
But God’s blessings were right there in the middle of everything, too. My friend dropped off our huge Click List order this morning, and I thanked God, one more time, for this dear friend who runs this errand for us every single week. What would I do without her?!
Another friend is going to provide food for the family while we are in the hospital with Nathan. This will help so much as Greg and Kristen move over here to stay with the kids and deal with any emergencies Kathryn might have.
Tomorrow, another dear friend will deliver our milk, eggs, and butter from Springboro. She also runs this errand for us every single week, and we can never express how much this means to us
And although the older kids are all experiencing weariness from the continual stress and from trying to help us carry the younger kids through this time, they gathered in the kitchen this afternoon — without even being asked to do so— to prepare dinner for the family. There is so much that is wonderful here inside our walls in spite of the pain and sadness that’s overshadowing the days right now, and in spite of the regular challenges any family faces as they raise adopted children from tough backgrounds. We have so much to be thankful for.
As I type this update, Kathryn is snuggled here on the couch beside me, resting and fairly peaceful, while we wait for her antibiotic to start working its magic. And I’m thinking again of those words, “I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages,” as I lean into this Rock and try to trust Him to take us, step by step, through the days to come.