Cancer Treatment: No Spread!

We wanted to jot a quick note to let everyone know that Scott’s staging MRI results showed that there has been no spread of cancer outside of the prostate. We are so thankful for this news, and this makes all of our upcoming plans for treatment “definitely definite” now. So we are moving full steam ahead.

While sitting in the waiting room today, I spotted this sitting on one of the shelves. One more reminder that God is walking beside us and carrying us when needed.

S

We decided to spend some time here on this trip purchasing any of the consumables we hadn’t already brought with us from home in order to save packing space when we bring the whole family back. The only possible time we could do this was yesterday evening, so that’s another reason we are really glad to know that the plans we have in place will remain in place. This is what four hours in Target looks like. These three carts of goods, once bagged, totally filled every available space in our rental car, and we so grateful to the owners of the house for letting us use their shed to store all of this stuff until we return in a couple of weeks.

Target Day in Kno

Scott’s procedure today was not a fun one, but the fiducial markers, which will be used for guiding precise placement of the proton beam, are all in place now, and he will carry little pieces of gold inside his body for the rest of his life. We are going to spend the evening resting now while his Valium wears off, watching episode after episode of Monk, thanks to loaned DVD’s from Ryan’s girlfriend, Anna. Since Internet is a real challenge here, we are getting a little reminder of what life was like before Netflix. It can still be done.

Watching Monk

Thank you all for your prayers. We will continue to keep you posted now as this adventure gets going for real.

 

Cancer Treatment: Easter Sunday Sunset

Life has continued to roll over us since our last update.

Nathan’s leg is healing slower than anyone expected and is still terribly swollen and painful for him. There is no sign of infection, and we’re thankful for that. For now, his surgeon has told us we just have to wait for his body to heal. So we wait.

On Friday, Scott and I left the house to find a quiet place where we could work uninterrupted on some pressing TSC business that needed to be addressed before we left town. That evening, we tacked on a little mini-date at the end and did manage to completely get away from everything for a couple of hours.

As we were driving home, though, our mini-van suddenly just quit working. This is the same mini-van that just had a ton of work completed on it. We coasted to the side of the road and initially we both just sat there in the silence and the dark, thinking about the fact that this was the vehicle that was supposed to drive us to Knoxville about thirty-six hours later. We recognized that our heightened emotions were making this feel like a much bigger deal that it really was, but there we were. Eventually, we kind of pulled ourselves out of that little mental funk and reminded each other, again, that God never takes us any place without a reason. And we chose to trust Him.

A very young police officer pulled up behind us and came to our window just to be sure we were okay. Then he left some flares to mark our location and provide some extra safety on the dark road. And Scott found a tow truck driver who had another hour left before closing time, and he came to save us.

Mini-Van On Tow Truck

Our usually trustworthy mini-van on the tow truck

When we arrived home late that night, the mail from that day was waiting for us on the kitchen counter. As we went through that mail, we discovered a gift from our church that was labeled, “A Love Offering.” This gift left us weeping in the kitchen. There was more than enough to cover towing costs to our house that night and to the repair shop the next morning, more repairs to the mini-van, and a rental vehicle to get us to Knoxville on Sunday and back  home on Thursday. God was already several steps ahead of us as we sat there on the side of the road in the dark, wondering what would happen next. When will we ever learn not to doubt Him even when nothing seems to make sense. We do public speaking about this very topic; we have written a book about this! Yet we struggle to hold onto this ourselves sometimes.

The next morning was Saturday, and we jumped up and began working on pre-trip planning. Scott and the boys had a massive amount of work to do in our basement and the girls and I were working on a crazy long list of organizational plans for getting all of us moved to Knoxville. Scott and I had already planned to take a lot of things with us on this first trip that would be used up during our family’s stay — diapers, pull-ups, Juice Plus, one-week’s worth of catheter supplies (we had already arranged to have more delivered to us after the family arrives in Knoxville), sterile saline, etc. Trying to get all of this organized, as well as planning for later packing of clothes, small kitchen appliances, pots and pans, kids’ prescriptions took a lot of work.

First Trip to Knoxville

Extra stuff to take with us to be stored in a shed on the property until the whole family arrives in a couple of weeks

Around mid-day, I suddenly realized I wasn’t feeling so well, and within an hour I was running a fever and experiencing so much nausea that I could barely stand to move. And we were supposed to drive to Knoxville in less than twenty-four hours!

Thanks to my girls’ help, we did manage to finish all of the list-making, but I gave up on trying to do any packing. Scott did make sure we were able to do our last family Easter study with the kids that night (we didn’t want to leave Jesus in the grave as we drove away to Knoxville!!), my teens helped him put together the kids’ Easter baskets for me, and we both went to bed. My fever broke about 5:00 a.m. the next morning, and we did manage to pack and get on the road, although it was about four hours later than we had hoped for.

Prayer Time For Colton and Emily

Finishing our family Easter service with a prayer time for our dear friends who are in New York launching a mighty battle against cancer

Making Easter Baskets

Three of our teens helping put together Easter baskets for our nine youngest

Easter Baskets

Dashing out to find their Easter baskets on Sunday morning

As we drove away, our daughter and son-in-law, Greg and Kristie, arrived with their seven children and began working on plans for an Easter egg hunt and a very non-traditional Easter dinner of grilled hamburgers. They made the day very special for our children and sent us pictures so we could be a part of our family’s Easter — Nolan’s first one with us. It was hard to miss that.

Modified Easter Dinner

Modified Easter dinner – grilled hotdogs and hamburgers

That evening, Scott and I arrived at the lake house that is already beginning to feel like home and as we walked into the family room, we saw that we had gotten there just in time to catch the last of Easter Sunday’s fabulous sunset over the lake. God continually finds ways to remind us that we are in His capable, loving, and very patient hands.

Su

Easter Sunday sunset at “The Sanctuary”

So as I sit here in the waiting room and Scott is in the back having his staging MRI and our hearts are both tempted to feel anxiety over what this MRI will show, I remember that beautiful sunset and all of God’s recent gifts and His powerful, loving hands holding us. And I know  — at this moment anyway — that whatever we learn from this MRI, He is still in control and will carry us each step of the way. And I also know that, should we get more bad news from this MRI and consequently stumble in fear initially, He will patiently continue to whisper to us that He is here and will never leave us.

Thank you all  — all of you who have blessed us financially, have made/are making meals for our family in our absences, have run/are running errands for us, sent cards, written emails of love, offered to help in any way possible. Thank you. You are beautiful representations of His hands and feet.

 

Cancer Treatment: Letting Go and Learning to Lean

Life is such a constant whirlwind just now. I had a dream last night that I was standing on the outside, looking into my life. Text tones were going off constantly from different parts of the house; phones were ringing; kids were lining up to ask questions; there was a steady hum of stress over being late for something; strangers were coming and going in our house; and Scott was trying his best to complete some task that required an Internet connection that he couldn’t manage to get for some reason. We were both about to hyperventilate from the stress, and later when I asked if he had completed the task, he told me that he hadn’t been able to because he was never able to get an Internet connection. And then we both had massive meltdowns. All the while, the constant texting and phone ringing and kids needing us continued. I remember looking in at this scene and, in my dream, thinking that it was all so insane that no one could deal with all of that at once. When I woke up, I was amazed at what an accurate picture it had been of our life at this moment. And I understood better why we are struggling to stay above the feelings of being overwhelmed.

We did manage to pull together the five birthdays we wanted to celebrate before we leave, but it almost killed us. Not many people know how much we’ve been struggling to hold life together over the past few weeks.

The March Birthdays

Tables for our three March birthdays – Ian, Erin, and Meghan

 

The April Birthdays

Group shot for our April birthdays – Robyn, and our grandson, Matthias

In addition to the already-scheduled appointments, Caelyn has also been having tremendous issues with one of her leg braces, resulting in multiple runs to her orthotist’s office, and a lot of time in her wheelchair instead of on her two feet. They finally decided to re-cast her for new braces on Monday, and we are hoping this will resolve her problems. She will have to take another trip into his office on Thursday to be fitted for these new braces.

The only reason we are still managing to function each day is because of all of the help God is sending us through our amazing friends. Once again, we marvel at our support system and the love that is daily showered upon our family.

Friends have dropped everything to transport Caelyn back and forth to her brace appointments while Scott and I have been dealing with other appointments. But they’ve also done so much more. One has spent hours baking up many, many batches of the homemade granola that has become a regular part of our family’s diet so that we can take that with us to Knoxville. And others have taken kids for haircuts; run errands to pick up prescriptions or groceries; dropped off food that has been left at our church for our family; mowed our lawn. We are just awed by these beautiful expressions of love and concern for our family, and we would not be surviving now without this amazing help. Thank you, thank you all!

Another area of great stress has also been an area of long-prayed-for blessing. The Rosenow House Project — after praying and raising funds for three and a half years — finally has the funds to finish our new kitchen! This blessing has resulted in much challenging activity right in the middle of our living space, and a long list of decisions that we’ve needed to make when we’ve had little mental energy or focus for making decisions. But when we return home from Knoxville in the middle of May, we will have a fully equipped, finished, and functioning new and bigger kitchen! Isn’t this just amazing?! We don’t have words to express our excitement over this news!

Nathan had his surgery on Monday. He is slowly recovering as we wait to see if this will finally resolve his pain issues and his inability to wear his prosthetic leg. Findings during the surgery, though, were very encouraging. His surgeon told us that the fascia over the muscles in the lower leg was stretched very tight over the muscle and sprang open when it was released. Also, there was a nerve being compressed by the fascia at one point, which was freed when she released the fascia. These are exactly the kinds of things you would expect to see if Exertional Compartment Syndrome were the correct diagnosis. So we are feeling very hopeful about this.

Nathan's Fasciotomy 3-21-16

Pre-op IV

Scott and I saw his doctor yesterday to discuss some recent bloodwork, and his PSA has continued to rise. This wasn’t a surprise. We already know that he has cancer. But it has left us very anxious to get on with this treatment and do all we can to rid his body of this.

We return to Knoxville on Easter Sunday where he will spend several days doing not-fun stuff to prepare for the beginning of his treatment. One of these will be a staging MRI that should tell us for sure if there has been any spread. I think we reported earlier that his biopsy results indicate that there is a 30% chance that the cancer has already spread outside of the prostate, so we are anxious to get the results of this MRI.

Because we leave on Easter Sunday, we had previously planned to try to do a family Easter dinner on Saturday. When I woke up this morning from the dream described above, I realized that I had to punt some things in order to reduce the stress the whole family is experiencing. I can’t control all of the unexpected medical issues, broken elevator, or sudden necessary car repairs, but I knew I had to choose to change some of the things I can control to reduce the stress. This was a hard decision because family time is so important — especially right now when we are about to be separated from our adult children and their families, and while we are all feeling the need to draw strength from each other. And making the decision to cancel our family Easter dinner left me feeling weak and like a failure.

As I came fully awake from the dream and the making of this decision, I went into our bathroom and saw a key on our countertop. This key, attached to a chain for wearing around the neck, was given to me as a gift just last night, along with a beautiful letter overflowing with love, by a dear friend who is fighting her husband’s cancer by his side. It’s called a Giving Key. Each of these keys is engraved with a word that represents something you are feeling a need for in  your own life. The idea is to wear this key until you reach a point when you no longer need it so badly and meet someone who needs it more than you do. At that time, you pass it on to this person. (You can learn about the story behind The Giving Keys here.)

The word engraved on the key from my friend, Emily, is “Strength.” How did she know that I was feeling so very much in need of strength just now? The answer to this question, is that she has already been walking this cancer path much longer than we have with her husband, Colton. One of the beauties of walking through trial and pain is the rich fertile soil that results from that experience. From this soil springs fabulous blossoms of compassion and understanding that allow the suffering one to reach out to others walking similar paths. Emily reached out to me. And my heart has been deeply touched.

Strength Key from Emily 3-22-16

I am wearing my key now, and I’m constantly reminded of my weakness and my need to reach out and take hold of God’s strength — right there for the taking by any of His children.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

God is determined to teach us the beauty of living in constant reliance upon Him. He wants us to learn more and more how to let go and lean into Him and embrace His plans for our lives. And as one of my children said, regardless of whether we eat a wonderful ham dinner or peanut butter and jelly, Jesus is alive! He has risen and saved us for all of eternity. Nothing will ever change that.

Colton and Emily would cherish any and all prayers as they continue to battle very serious cancer. If you’d like to link arms with them, please visit their blog.  And this post, specifically, includes a short video that will give you a good synopsis of their whole story.

We have so much to celebrate. So much to be thankful for. So much beauty to share with the world.

I long for the day when I grow up enough that I don’t lose sight of these things — the beauty, the thankfulness, the reasons to celebrate — even in the dark times; the times filled to overflowing with stress that can’t really even be explained to others; the times when rest seems to remain elusive.

The Lord is Risen. He is risen indeed!

Cancer Treatment: And the Sovereignty of God

We got some answers in several areas yesterday afternoon. Good answers. The answers we were praying for.

So why did I sense such a shadow over this wonderful, hoped-for news?

Why did I delay sharing this with everyone? Shouldn’t I have been shouting these blessings from the rooftops?

In the midst of the kids’ clothes-switchout frenzy and a neurosurgery appointment for one of our six-year-olds, I tried to examine this throughout the afternoon yesterday. This shadow — was it the lack of sleep? the many other areas of stress pressing on our life right now as we prepare for the move? maybe I didn’t really believe the report?

Gradually, I realized that it was due to my feelings of something that resembled guilt.

Scott’s MRI report came back showing no signs of malignancy in his liver. We are still a little confused about what those spots are and why they are there and what they mean for his future. And we’ll be seeing a doctor at the Ohio Gastroenterology and Liver Institute on March 17 to discuss some of these things. But we are being assured that the MRI has ruled out any possibility of cancer in that part of Scott’s body. This is marvelous news, and we celebrated with our very relieved children until very late last night.

But why us?

We have one friend who is in her final stages of a three-plus year battle with this hated power called CANCER; she will be gone from this world soon.

Other friends have fought and beaten it, but hold their breath for each re-check to make sure it’s really and truly conquered.

Some have fought, beaten it, and are now mustering the energy to enter battle again. Because they didn’t get the good news we got yesterday afternoon.

The tears fall one more time for these friends as I type this update. I want them to get happy news, too.

Why us?

And that’s not all. The good news just kept coming all day.

The author of the book that launched our research into Proton Beam Therapy (PBT) — a man who has been holding our hand the whole time we’ve been trying to navigate these unfamiliar waters — called us yesterday to check in on us and to tell us that he has a friend who has asked to financially help out specifically with food needs during our family’s time in Knoxville. And he also wanted to share the news that the $2600 gel spacer (not covered by any insurance companies, but used to protect surrounding, healthy tissues from radiation during Scott’s treatment) is being donated to Scott by the manufacturer!

And there’s more. We got word from Provision Center for Proton Therapy yesterday that they have managed to convince our insurance company to not only cover Scott’s treatment, but to cover it as in-network because PBT is not available here in Ohio yet. This reduces our out-of-pocket costs for Scott’s treatment from a whopping $90,000 to about $5,000! (She did warn us that insurance companies frequently renege on these things when it comes right down to paying, but we are choosing not to worry about that for now.)

And still more. Donations have continued coming in. As I mentioned in our last post, our son-in-law has created a GoFundMe page, but we haven’t officially launched that yet because we were waiting for final numbers to get a better idea about how much we would need for all of this — the moving expenses, the treatment, medical bills accumulating here on this end, etc.

As of yesterday, we believe we are 100% totally funded for this entire journey. Can you believe that?! We won’t even need to launch that GoFundMe page now!

Unless the insurance company doesn’t come through, we have all that we will need to cover all of the expenses involved in moving the family to Knoxville, caring for all of us there (including the steps we had to take to provide Internet while are there), pay for Scott’s medical bills here in Ohio, and cover our costs for his treatment in Knoxville!

We still almost can’t believe this could be true! It all was just handed to us from God’s loving hands through those of so many people who have showered us with love.

“Far more than we understand, does God strengthen and bless us through human love. He hides himself in the lives of those who touch us with their affection. He looks into our eyes through human eyes, and speaks into our ears through human lips. He gives power to us in our faintness, and hope in our discouragement. The highest and greatest of all the comings of God to men was in a human life, when the Son of God tabernacled in the flesh. And ever since, God is coming to us in other human lives.” ~ J. R. Miller (1840-1912)

But WHY?! 

I don’t have answers. I do believe in the sovereignty of an all-loving, all-powerful God.

I believe the words of the wise Mr. Winslow: The moment tried and sifted faith disentangles itself of ‘second causes’, and rests in God, that moment the bitter and unlovely bulb bursts into the sweet and beauteous flower, laden with the dew and bathed in the sunshine of heaven!”

But it hurts. A lot.

“When we are assured that nothing which is appointed by our Father can come to us wrongly, our cup of suffering becomes a cup of love!” ~ John MacDuff (1818-1895)

“. . . nothing which is appointed by our Father can come to us wrongly. . .” 

I know that we have to choose to believe that this is just as true concerning the happy pieces of news we get as it is with the dark, sad, and confusing things.

And we truly are so thankful to God, to friends, to strangers, for the love and sunshine being showered down on us.

But I will remain on my knees for so many others out there still waiting for answers to prayer and trying, just like us, to learn how to trust God when the answers He sends aren’t the answers hoped for.

My tears will continue to fall on their behalf. And I will ask God to show us more ways to come alongside and stand with them in the rain that’s falling into their lives.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15

Scott's MRI Report

The important part of Scott’s MRI report

 

Clothing Switch-Out #1

Try on and try on and try on — day after day. Almost done now, though.

 

Clothes Switch-Out 2

This long week is almost finished, and the end is in sight

Cancer Treatment: Bad Surprises and More Questions

Last week, Scott began having some mild pain in his lower left abdomen. Within about twelve hours, he was running a fever, fighting with terrible body aches, and experiencing intense nausea. We assumed he had caught a stomach bug, which was shocking since he never, ever gets sick. About twenty-four hours later, the fever was gone, but the pain in his abdomen was worsening. He saw our family doctor who immediately diagnosed him with diverticulitis, restricted Scott’s diet to only clear liquids for the next four days, put him on two antibiotics, and ordered a CT scan to confirm the diagnosis.

Scott moved through those four days like a rock! I would’ve been weeping my way through them. He is on the mend and responding  well to the antibiotics, but the CT scan revealed some surprising and unpleasant news.

The report stated that there were some abnormalities in the bladder and a number of spots scattered throughout Scott’s liver. The bladder abnormalities seem to all be explained by the cancer in the prostate, and are consistent with the severe symptoms Scott was having initially (symptoms currently subdued by medication).

The liver questions are more mysterious. Scott’s dad died from liver cancer, so this was immediately very concerning for us. In fact, I will be honest and say that we both (especially I) hit a very low place Sunday morning when we got this news. God has, graciously, set us on our feet again, and we are moving forward. We want to trust God with the next day and the next and the next, believing His promises to love us and bring only His best to us even when our path doesn’t seem best to our human minds and hearts.

“It is often true that the experiences we dread, in which we seem to be left without help, when the darkness appears most dense about us and we cannot see the way — even a step before us — are really fullest of God. We cry out then for deliverance, not knowing that it is God who is leading us into the shadows. We cry, ‘Show me the way,’ thinking that we have lost the way, and crying to be led back into it, when lo! The clouds part and we see Christ close beside us, and know that He has been beside us all the time. God’s way does not always lie in the sunshine; sometimes it runs into deep glooms. We are not always out of His way when we find ourselves facing obstacles and difficulties. He leads us many a time, away from the path which we would have taken. When we pray for guidance, we must surrender our will to God. If we ask Him to guide us, we must yield our own preference, and accept His. We need never doubt that God’s way leads always to the best things, to the truest and to the most real good. Let no one ever think that the way of the Lord is a mistake, however disappointing to our hopes and schemes it may be. One day we shall know that every divine leading, whatever it may have cost us to follow it, is both wise and good.”
~ J. R. Miller (1840-1912)

No one knows what these spots are, and there is some concern that they may be too small to biopsy. There is still a good chance that they are benign, but we want to know, of course. Scott is scheduled for an MRI this afternoon (Tuesday) @ 4:00. We don’t know when we will get the results of that MRI.

We have also written to our radiology oncologist in Knoxville to make sure he is kept up to speed and to see if he wants to offer any input about testing. We are praying that this will not interfere with treatment plans, but we don’t know anything yet.

Besides the human fear of what we could be dealing with, the added tests and appointments are enough to undo us at the moment. I was so thankful that God seemed to have cleared out these next few weeks so we could focus on the monumental task of preparing for the family’s temporary move to Knoxville. But gradually, orthodontic emergencies, new testing for one teen who is having some possible seizure activity, dental emergencies, leg braces that keep breaking and have to be addressed, and now Scott’s new illness and questions are consuming these days that are so essential to our being able to get ready for this move.

We also have five birthdays to celebrate before we leave. We will be combining these into two celebrations and will share photos once we manage to pull them off.

Our schooling is a tremendous challenge at the moment, but we know that we will be able to accomplish much in this area during our time in Knoxville. And we will school through the summer to get everything finished up. So I’m trying hard not to stress too much over this area of life right now.

We also have a new development for Nathan, who has suffered for eighteen months with pain in his leg and been unable to wear his prosthesis with any regularity (which has resulted in often intense back and hip pain because of the imbalance of his gait). The specialist we have been seeing in Indianapolis has suggested a theory that makes a lot of sense to us based on Nathan’s symptoms — a condition known as Exertional Compartment Syndrome (ESC). Unfortunately, there is no way to know for sure if this is a correct diagnosis. The treatment is a relatively simple surgery that will involve opening up one side of the entire length of Nathan’s lower leg and then opening the fascia of the muscle in his lower leg. The fascia will be left open; the skin will be stitched closed. This will allow the swelling that we think is taking place in his muscle to do so without the pain (we hope). Even though there is no way to know for sure if this will work, Nathan is desperate enough to give it a try. He is scheduled for that surgery here in Cincinnati on March 21, with a post-op appointment just a couple of days before our move. Please pray with us that this will finally take care of the pain he’s been having for so long.

After he heals, he may need to be fitted with a new prosthesis, depending on how much this changes the shape of his leg. Unfortunately, there won’t be enough time between his post-op appointment and the date we move to get that done. So we are also praying that his current prosthesis will actually still work for him, and that he will be able to wear it and be on two feet during  our stay in Knoxville.

Nathan's New Leg #1

Nathan’s current (and very cool) prosthesis

The most overwhelming task at the moment is the kids’ seasonal clothing switch-out, inventory of usable hand-me-downs, and shopping for needed new items. As I’ve shared before, this is a massive undertaking, and I dread it with every season change. Because we are moving south, I am doing this early this year — with our daughter Kristie’s help as always. She and I are doing our best to complete this project this week while also squeezing in Scott’s new appointments.

Friends have stepped forward to help with errands to free us up as much as possible. They are picking up new  completed leg braces for us, driving to Springboro for our weekly milk/egg/butter pick-up,  and delivering groceries that friends leave at church each week for us. Our son-in-law Greg is doing his best to keep up with his duties as Executive Assistant for The Shepherd’s Crook while also trying to get kids to some of their appointments for us. We are all stretched past anything we thought we were capable of.

New Braces

New braces; another new pair coming later this week

How do we ever thank everyone who is stepping up to help? Others of you continue to ask how you can help, and I’m sure over the next couple of weeks, we will have ways for you to step in, too. We promise to reach out to you and let you know. Thank you!

We are just astounded by the number of people praying for us, and we cherish these prayers more than we can ever say. We will continue to keep you posted as we learn more and as we move through these next few weeks.

Financially, we have been able to pay all of Scott’s unexpected medical bills, so far, thanks to gifts that have come in. We are continually at a loss for words to express all that we feel toward those of you who help and help and help some more.

One of our adult children said to us recently, “You guys are loved by so many people.” I tear up again even as I type those words. I remember a time years ago when people who had been following our adoption journeys suddenly dropped by the wayside, some even responding with statements like, “You’ve gone too far now; we no longer want to be a part of this.”  This story is shared in our book in more detail, but we wondered if God was asking us to continue on alone, without the support system around us that we had come to lean on. We promised Him that we would do that if this is what He was asking. But now we look at the incredible support system He has built up around us. And we marvel. And we thank Him.

We are so incredibly blessed.

 

 

Cancer Treatment: So It Begins

“Providence so orders the case, that faith and prayer come between our wants and supplies, and the goodness of God may be the more magnified in our eyes thereby.”
~John Flavel (c.1627–1691)

We are seeing this very principle played out in astonishing ways as God continues to lead us along this new path in our lives.

We have completed our first trip to Knoxville, and this is all seeming very real to us now. Not that we were ever in denial, but the busy-ness of life had allowed us to somewhat keep it at a distance in our minds and even on an emotional level. We are past that now.

As we drove up to the Provision Proton Center where Scott will receive his daily treatments, we were a little surprised at the intensity of the emotions that unexpectedly rushed to the surface for both of us. We held hands and walked into the front doors as Scott described the physical sensations of these emotions as, “a whole bunch of four-footed creatures running around in his chest.” I would agree with that.

First Knoxville Trip #10

But that happened toward the end of this, our first trip to Knoxville. I’ll back up a little and  fill you in on what took place before that moment.

Our rainy drive from Cincinnati to Knoxville was pleasant and uneventful in spite of the occasional down-pours.

Knoxville Trip #1

We arrived early Wednesday evening at the house where we will be staying during Scott’s treatment, and the owner, Rhonda, met us there. She and her husband offered the two of us free use of their house during this brief trip. This was a huge help financially and it gave us a great opportunity to check things out and make sure the house would work with wheelchairs and lots of little paralyzed legs. We spent a couple of hours with her that evening as she walked us through the house and expressed how thankful they are to be a part of this story.

The house is spotlessly clean and has such a restful atmosphere to it. Rhonda and her husband call the property, “The Sanctuary,” and after spending two nights there, we feel it’s a perfect choice for a name.

We spent Thursday morning planning out sleeping arrangements for all of the kids. It’ll be tight (except for the kitchen), and there will be some inconveniences to work around (no Internet, which we have to have for school and the running of The Shepherd’s Crook; only one fairly small washer and dryer; fewer bathrooms; etc.) But as Scott said, “We’re talking about cancer treatment here, not a Disney vacation,” and we are inexpressibly grateful for this house and the beauty of God’s creation surrounding it.

First Knoxville Trip #12

Our home away from home for the spring

First Knoxville Trip #3

The driveway up to the house; a large in-ground pool off the left where we will do some family swimming if Knoxville has a warm-enough spring season

First Knoxville Trip #6

Scott cooking our breakfast in the kitchen, which is a lot bigger than mine and wonderful!

The property is beautiful, although the uneven terrain will prove somewhat challenging for some of the children, (after Erin’s terrible fall at the lake house in AL during our October trip, we will guard her carefully when she walks her dog). 😊 But there are a few fairly level areas where our non-walkers will be able to play safely. And there’s so much there for the imaginations of our creative kids — a small island to explore, a mountain to climb, and woods galore. Once I can figure out how to handle my fear of snakes in the south, they should all be able to make some amazing memories during this trip.

First Knoxville Trip #8

The view from the windows all across the back of the house

First Knoxville Trip #11

A visitor — her two babies were with her but didn’t show up in the picture

On Thursday afternoon, we wandered down into Knoxville to check out options for groceries, etc. We were happy to find a Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, Kroger, and Target. We should be set.

As we pulled into the Target parking lot so we could grab a few things we had forgotten to pack, we got a call on Scott’s cell phone.

In our last post, we shared that this house had been offered to us for $7000, that we had been awarded a $2000 grant to help with housing costs, and that we still needed another $5000 to cover the cost of the house for one month. Well, this phone call was from a person in CA we’d never even heard of. He is a friend of a friend, and he had heard about Scott’s cancer diagnosis and our large family and unusual needs. He had actually heard that we were still short $5000 to cover the cost of a house for the family and he was calling to say that he and his wife wanted to cover that expense. He stated that he could imagine that worrying about housing would be the last thing he’d want to deal with in the course of cancer treatment, and they wanted to lift that burden from us. They are Christians and want to pass on the blessings God has given them, whenever and wherever they can. We were—and still are—stunned by this, but we’re also very thankful that this need has been met. We love it so much when God makes it clear that answers to our prayers are coming only from Him.

That brings us to Friday, where I started this update. We were pleasantly surprised at the warm, helpful environment we walked into when we passed through the front doors of the Provision Center for Proton Therapy. This is clearly a place full of compassionate people who are trained and ready to embrace families who are dealing with life-changing news, difficult decisions, and financial confusion.

I’ll summarize the long afternoon there by saying that although we were initially told that no definite plans for treatment could be made until after their insurance department had determined for sure what our insurance will do, once the doctor heard about our family situation and the fact that the children’s surgeries are being put on hold until we can get this treatment for Scott behind us, he told us to tell them what schedule we needed and that they would make it happen.

So the two of us will return to Knoxville again on Easter Sunday (3/27). Scott will have a staging MRI done to determine whether or not the cancer has spread outside of the prostate on Monday, 3/28; on Tuesday, 3/29, he will have gold markers inserted inside his body to assist in the aiming of the proton beam; on Wednesday, 3/30, they will do a CT scan and a treatment simulation and create the specially designed “pod” Scott will be placed in each day for treatment. All of these steps are just small pieces of a very precise science that ensures that the proton beam is just the right strength and always hitting exactly the right spot. We will return home on Thursday, 3/31.

This fairly lengthy trip was not something we were expecting, but it was not a surprise to God. He already sent the money to cover this trip from dear friends who have known us since our early days of marriage in Ft. Meade, Maryland. Once again  . . . amazing.

On April 8, we will leave Cincinnati with our whole family and our three dogs, and drive to Knoxville. We still haven’t figured out exactly how we will get all of our necessaries there with us. (We have been asked if any of our adult kids are coming with us. No, they will all be staying here, although they are all hoping to make at least one trip over at some point to spend some time with us during this process.)

Treatments will begin on April 11 and will occur every day, Monday through Friday, for a month. Scott’s doctor there felt that he was a good candidate for the one-month protocol instead of the two-month protocol because Scott responded so well to the medication prescribed for him by the doctor here who did his biopsy. However, he warned us that this could change if they find anything unexpected in his MRI on 3/28, or if that MRI indicates that the cancer has spread outside of the prostate.

We left the center that evening trying to process a lot of info that was tossed our way. We were so happy to have been able to get the schedule laid out with such certainty as this will help us a lot with our planning, but we also learned that the treatment itself will be harder on Scott physically than we first thought. These difficulties are supposed to resolve about a month after treatment is completed, but it was one more reminder that we are dealing with an ugly and foreign bunch of abnormal cells growing inside of his body, and that it takes a battle to kill them.

We are moving forward on faith at this point, but we hope to have a much clearer picture sometime this week of what our insurance company is going to do.

It’s important to point out that donations for Scott’s cancer treatment can’t come through The Shepherd’s Crook. It would be a violation of TSC’s tax-exempt status if we were to accept donations through TSC for Scott’s medical care. So we are so grateful to those who have asked to help, but there is no way for gifts toward this to be tax-deductible.  Our son-in-law has actually set up a GoFundMe account for those who have asked to help financially. We will share that link soon, but we are hoping to have a clearer picture of how much we will need to raise before sharing it. We should have that information later this week, we hope.

Thank you so much for the continued prayers and letters and to those who so lovingly fed our family while we were gone. To all of you who have been writing to ask what we learned in Knoxville, your questions are expressions of love to our hearts.

Tomorrow (Monday), we will travel back to Indianapolis to meet with Nathan’s specialist and discuss Nathan’s most recent tests. It’s beginning to look like he may need surgery on his leg, but we don’t yet know how soon that can happen. We’ll keep you posted on that, too.

We have much ahead of us before we have our family settled in that house in Knoxville, and there are still a lot of unknowns, but God has already laid many pieces so beautifully in place. Even after all of the miracles we’ve seen through the years of bringing home our children, we have been astounded as we’ve watched what He is already doing in this part of our story. We feel peace about what’s ahead. Thank you for being a part of this with us.

 

Cancer Treatment: The Beginnings of a Plan

We’re so sorry to have left everyone hanging for so long. We had hoped to have more definite pieces in place by now, but want to, at least, share the tentative plans we have so far. We would love to have an army praying as we try to finalize things, and we still need many miracles.

This update will be long. I apologize for that, but it’ll take awhile to lay everything out clearly.

It was four weeks ago today that we got confirmation of Scott’s diagnosis of prostate cancer. As I said in an earlier post, it is a bit more advanced and aggressive than we had hoped. Also, there is a 30% chance that the cancer has already spread to tissue outside of the prostate, and one of our biggest challenges is that the exact location of Scott’s cancer makes good treatment options few.

While pretty much any treatment out there would likely carry a high cure rate, almost all of them also carry a very high probability of severe and permanent nerve damage and/or damage to the surrounding healthy tissue, putting it at an increased  risk of more cancer down the road. However, after much research and some phone conversations with experts and people knowledgeable in the world of prostate cancer, we have settled on the treatment that we believe will, by far, provide the greatest chance of full cure (including any cancer that could be lurking in the tissue surrounding the prostate), and provide the least risk of permanent nerve damage. This treatment is called Proton Beam Therapy. Out of 3000 men surveyed after undergoing this treatment, 97% of them stated that they felt they had made the right choice, and 90% of them stated that their quality of life was the same as or better than before treatment. No other treatment options can offer those kinds of results.

Unfortunately, there is a down side to this. There aren’t, yet, any centers in Ohio offering this treatment, and treatments are done daily for one to two months. There is one currently being built only 10 minutes from our home, but it won’t be ready for about another year. We are convinced now, as we look back at symptoms Scott has been fighting with, that we should’ve had this biopsy done at least two years ago, and with the cancer located so close to nerves and the chance that it may have already spread, we can’t wait another year for treatment.

Another down side is that we don’t yet know if insurance will cover this very expensive treatment.

After a number of phone conversations with a leading expert in this field, we have decided on Knoxville as the best location for our treatment. Immediately, though, we were faced with some tough decisions. Some of our children are still new enough that they are in critical places with their bonding, and some are still emotionally “shaky” enough that it could be damaging to them for the family to be split up for even one month — and certainly for two. Scott and I have prayed through this and had many discussions and come to the conclusion that the family will need to walk this cancer treatment journey together. This means that we will need to relocate our whole family — all nineteen at-home kids — for the duration of the treatment. This is huge. It was a big deal when, for the same bonding and adjustment reasons, we took the whole family to Bolivia to complete Colin’s adoption back in 2000. But we only had eight children then. And none of those needed to be catheterized every three hours or had wheelchairs or other equipment. We got a taste of what we’re looking at when we took everyone to Alabama just this past October, so we fully understand what we’re up against both financially and logistically.

Most of those involved at this point believe that Scott’s treatment will be the one-month protocol, but we won’t get confirmation of this until after he completes a couple of visits to Knoxville for some further testing.

So where are we with this right now?

As I mentioned, Scott has been struggling with some symptoms for a couple of years, but he was actually pretty sick through November and early December. His urologist started him on a medication that has greatly helped while we wait for treatment, and he is feeling much better now.

So far, we believe that God has confirmed our direction in multiple ways, and we are just walking through each door as He opens it and trusting Him to either provide all that we will  need, or to change our direction according to His will.

Scott is scheduled for his first consultation visit at Provision Proton Center in Knoxville on February 26. After that visit, the center’s team dedicated to such things will submit all papers to our insurance company and see what happens. If coverage is denied, it is our understanding that this group will launch an appeal on our behalf, but there is absolutely no guarantee that this appeal would change anything.

The  next step will be a pre-treatment visit where an MRI, CT scan, and other preliminary steps will be taken in preparation for beginning treatment. Our goal start date for treatment is April 11. But much of this depends on what happens with the insurance company.

Another team at the center focuses on housing for out of town families. They emphatically  stated that we are the biggest challenge they’ve ever faced. But they also told us that they are touched and honored to be a part of this story, and even excited about seeing how it unfolds. We have already had multiple opportunities to share our faith with everyone along the way.

Our contact for this housing team is Kristin, and she told us right away that finding a big place for our family wouldn’t be a problem because the center is located so close to Gatlinburg where there are many large cabins to be rented for family reunions or whatever. The problem, she said, would be the exorbitant cost for these large cabins. Sure enough, the homes she initially presented us with were $12,000 a month! (Did she not understand the part where we explained that we have no money — as in $0 — for housing at this point?) 😊

Thankfully, though, a couple of days into their search, Kristin connected us with a very sweet couple who owns another home there, only 30 minutes from the treatment center. While not as big as our home, we believe we could certainly make it work for one to two months. This generous couple told us that they could rent it to us for $7000, which is what it cost them per month with their mortgage, utilities, etc. This homeowner named Rhonda went on to say that, if there were any way at all for them to do it, they would offer it to us for free, but that they aren’t in a position financially to be able to do that. This touched our hearts so much.

Later that same day, a gal named Miranda from yet another patient coordination department — this one set up to help find financial aid for families who need it for lodging — wrote to say that she had secured a $2000 grant to be used toward housing expenses for us. That brought the cost of this home down to $5000 for the month. Still impossible, but getting closer.

This next part was more confirmation that we are where God wants us for now:

First of all, Rhonda and her husband’s home is available during (and only during) the dates we would need it if Scott’s treatment started on April 11 and lasted for one month. Although we can’t reserve this home yet because there are still too many hanging pieces, and because we don’t have the money right now, it was interesting to us that this was the only time it was available.

Next, from the very beginning of this cancer journey, we have told the kids that we had no doubts at all that God had already written this part of our story. That He already knows where He wants us to be for this treatment; whose lives He wants to intersect with ours; what kinds of ripples He will create through any of these crossing of others’ paths and where those ripples will lead in the work for His kingdom. So when Rhonda wrote to tell us that she had already been praying about the fact that she feels there is a bigger purpose for her life and asking that this purpose be revealed to her; and when she stated that she believes that we were all supposed to have this connection with each other regardless of whether or not we end up being able to use her home, our hearts thrilled over this evidence that God is directing our path.

We are continually asked about our needs. We still don’t have a clear enough picture of this to present you all with a detailed and specific list, but we hope it won’t be much longer. In general, though:

  • we know that we will have to raise these housing costs
  • that we will have to rent a 15-passenger van because ours couldn’t make the trip
  • we will have to rent a trailer to move everything we will need to live in another state for at least a month.
  • Our mini-van will need work to make it ready for a trip like this, but a gift already arrived this past week from someone who didn’t even know we were considering this treatment path. Another huge encouragement to our hearts, that gift should cover the mini-van repairs, help toward purchasing any bins, etc. needed for packing us up, and maybe even stretch far enough to be used toward van rental.
  • even if insurance does agree to cover any of this, there will still be much not covered by insurance, and we will need to be able to pay for that
  • as we prepare for the move, we are looking for ways to accept offers for practical help like running errands for us; picking up prescriptions for the kids; etc. We don’t have this very well defined yet, as you can see, but we hope to soon.
  • prayer, prayer, and more prayer. As we keep saying, we are facing some impossible challenges. We’ve watched God overcome impossible odds in our life many times (in fact, we wrote a whole book about that very thing) 😊. But He wants us to ask. Please link arms with us and ask God for the things needed to get Scott the treatment for his cancer.

In closing, I’ll briefly fill you in on how the kids are all doing. We’ve had a lot of appointments as we’ve tried to get them all in stable places while they wait until after Scott’s treatment for further treatment or surgeries.

  • Roslyn’s urologist has okay’d waiting until fall for her very major bladder reconstruction surgery. Lilyan and Jaden will both also need this surgery, but their need for it isn’t as pressing as Roslyn’s is.
  • Lilyan’s spine surgeon felt at her appointment last week that we do need to move ahead with her huge spine surgery pretty soon, but also said she’ll be okay to wait until this is behind us.
  • Meghan needs another hand surgery, and this is scheduled for next week. She should be out of her cast before we leave and hopefully have time to heal enough to begin her OT work that can be done on her own while we are in Knoxville.
  • Nathan continues to be in misery much of the time. Some days are better than others, but he is in constant pain. Lately,  he has had a number of really bad days. We just completed the last of his next round of tests, and we will take those results back to Indianapolis to be reviewed by the specialist there with the hope that he can give us a direction. He has theorized that we could be looking at a condition called Exertional Compartment Syndrome. There is much about this condition that seems to fit Nathan’s symptoms. Treating it will require a surgery, and we would certainly love to get this done before we leave for Knoxville, but if we are indeed able to head there in April, this probably won’t be possible. Please keep praying for him. This is so hard. He is weary.
  • Kathryn, who is now eleven, but will never progress much past about a four-year-old, has had such a tough time as her body hasn’t recognized the fact that she will never grow up. We had to have a procedure done for her last week that was very hard for me to accept. You can read about that in my post, Sometimes You Have To Do the Hard Things, if you want to know more. She is pretty much back to normal now, and doing pretty well as we wait to see if this is going to solve the problems she was having.

That’s about it for now. We’ve had a quiet day today, and the kids were able to spend some time playing in the snow. I’ll share a few pictures of that here.

Thank you so much for writing to ask what’s going on, for the kind emails of concern you have sent, for the cards you have mailed to us, for continually asking how you can help, and for loving our family. We have truly been blown away by the number of expressions of love. Thank you from our hearts. We are so blessed.

We’ll try to post more often (which should make the posts shorter) from this point forward.

 

Snow Day 2-15-16 #14

Greetings From the Sky

As Scott and I are thousands of feet above the ground, winging our way from Tampa to Chicago (and then on to Dayton), I will update here a bit and share highlights from our trip to Tampa.

We arrived in rainy Tampa Wednesday evening, January 27, and had the pleasure of sharing dinner with the brother and cousin of another young man who died on the ship with my brother in 1980. We spent several hours together and could easily have chatted for several more hours if time had allowed. We are all pretty bummed that we forgot to get any pictures that night.

Sadly, the rain continued on through Wednesday night and all through the day Thursday, which was the day of the annual Blackthorn Memorial Service. The rain forced the ceremony inside, causing some loss of the poignancy and beauty that is always present when the service can be held at the site of the monument in Blackthorn Memorial Park. We were told that in the thirty-five years of these annual services, this has only happened twice now. In spite of the change of venue, though, it was still a blessing to be there among so many people who continue gathering each year to honor and remember that tragic night and the many lives that were changed. We weren’t able to get many pictures that day, but we did mange to get a few.

Blackthorn Memorial Service #1

Many people and businesses in the community still place wreaths each year.

Blackthorn Memorial Service #2

Amazing Grace

We joined some of the other family members and survivors for lunch again, just as we did last year, and enjoyed that time of warm fellowship.

Blackthorn Memorial Service #4

Blackthorn Memorial Service #3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That evening the brother of one of the ship’s survivors kindly opened up his home and prepared a FL shrimp boil for the family members who were able to make it for that.

Thankfully, we awoke Friday morning to sunny skies. Scott and I had a very long phone conversation in our hotel room with a key person in MA who is providing some guidance as we continue searching for the right treatment for Scott’s cancer. We have been so encouraged to see how God is opening doors and guiding us through this already, and we feel like we are getting close to the right decision about this. We hope to have a more definite plan within the next couple of weeks now, and we will keep you posted. As I said, this was an encouraging phone conversation overall, but it was also emotionally draining.

Friday evening, we met with a small group of parents who have already adopted and wanted to just spend time together and discuss this life of parenting very broken children — its joys and its  challenges. We were blessed and revived through this time with people of such like minds. Once again, we forgot to get any pictures.

Saturday was a great, but absolutely exhausting day. It began with a four-hour book-signing session at the Family Christian Bookstore in Lakeland, FL. Scott and I were privileged to meet quite a number of very interesting people with touching stories. One of these was an older man who had spent his childhood in a Catholic orphanage in the 1930’s, was kicked out onto the streets at the age of fourteen, spent many years “hobo-ing” across the country, and plummeted into a dark and depressing life before becoming a Christian in 1971. He has spent his life since, serving God through a number of Christian ministries. He and his wife talked with us for a long time before buying one of our books. We were so shocked when we realized that our four hours had passed and that it was time for us to pack up and move on to our next gathering. The manager of this store told us that they are the fourth biggest Family Christian in the nation, and that this had been their most successful book signing in a really long time. They also asked us to leave some books behind for them to stock on their shelves, and as we were leaving, one of those also sold. The whole day was a huge energy boost as we continue trying to learn what it means to be authors.

FCB Book signing 1-30-16 #1

Our first book signing!

FCB Book signing 1-30-16 #2

With the manager of the Lakeland, FL Family Christian Bookstore

FCB Book signing 1-30-16 #3

We are on a shelf inside a real book store!

That evening, we were welcomed into the Lakeland home of Garry and Jan Seitz, TSC parents to at least 20 children (Sorry, Jan, I get confused about your numbers.) Almost all of their children are grown now, and they hosted another book signing in their family room and even provided dinner for everyone. We enjoyed our time there reconnecting with friends who have huge hearts for adoption, and it was a wonderful way to end our day. Sadly, we only got one picture of that time.

Book Signing at Seitz House #1

Dear friend Teresa and her daughter, Jaelynn who lived at the same center with Roslyn and Jaden in China

On Sunday, Scott and I spoke in a Hispanic church (with much English, thankfully) down in Tampa. Our time with this very warm and welcoming congregation reminded us so much of time spent worshiping with nationals in Bolivia (except in those cases, there was no English at all). And one more time — we didn’t get any pictures. Not sure why we had so much trouble remembering that piece this time.

We are so thankful that we were able to spend this time in Tampa, and now we are looking forward to getting back home. Our baby of the family, Jaden, turns six today, and we are anxious to be back with our children.

We still have many appointments coming at us this month, but we are slowly working our way through those. Lilyan’s spine surgeon had already heard about Scott’s cancer when we saw him last week, and he assured us that while he doesn’t want to postpone Lilyan’s major spine surgery too long, it would be okay for her to wait another six months to a year while we tackle this new piece of our lives. He expressed great concern for Scott and urged us to just put all of our focus on him for now.

We will continue to update you as we know more. Thank you all so much for your prayers.

There’s More to Life Than Cancer

We know that the statement, “There’s more to life than cancer,” is true, although we also know that cancer will consume much of our life for awhile as we continue trying to make the best choice for treatment. (More on that below.)

One of things that will keep cancer from actually consuming our lives is the fact that we have such a full and busy life. However, that’s also the very thing that presents such challenges for us in trying to research options and make the best decisions for treatment. Trying to run a very busy ministry and keep up with our children’s incredibly taxing medical schedules, leaves very little time for extra doctor appointments, research, and reading. We have forty-three appointments now scheduled for January, and we already have thirty-three appointments, one surgery, and one procedure under anesthesia scheduled for February.

And a trip to Tampa.

Weeks ago, Scott and I began planning a trip to Tampa. There are a couple of churches there who have welcomed us to speak, and two book signings for our book. We also planned to attend the annual Blackthorn Memorial Service again this year. Over the past few days, we have talked about whether it would be best to cancel this trip and focus on trying to make these decisions about Scott’s care.

In the end, we have decided to continue with the plans for the trip because for right now, we are mostly waiting on people to get back to us with answers to questions, anyway, before we can make any decisions. So we wanted to share that itinerary with you in case any of you might be in the area. As always, we would really love to see any of you who could make it to any of the events below. You would be welcomed at any of them (in fact, we would love to not be the only ones at our first book signings.) 😊

Would you please share this info/post with others? This is short notice, and we’d like to be sure the word gets out there.

The details are as follows:

Friday, January 29, 2016
5:00 PM
A small group gathering and Q&A with us at The Coffee Barn and Bakery
1147 S Broad St, Brooksville, Florida 34601
http://www.thecoffeebarnandbakery.com

Saturday, January 30, 2016
11:00 AM – 3:00 PM
Book Signing at Family Christian Bookstore
3700 US Highway 98 N Lakeland, FL 33809

Saturday January 30, 2016
5:00 PM – 8:00 PM
Book Signing at the home of Garry and Jan Seitz
5052 Shady Lake Lane Lakeland, FL 33813

Sunday January 31, 2016
12:00 PM
TSC Orphan/Adoption Presentation at New Life Church of Tampa
4300 E. 7th Ave Tampa Fl. 33605
http://www.iglesianuevavidatampa.org

Now, back to the topic of cancer. We saw a doctor today and will be seeing some others in the near future, but we don’t expect to have enough information to make final decisions for at least a couple of weeks. We are anxious to make a decision, let all of you know what’s going on and how you can help, and move forward. Waiting is hard, and while prostate cancer is known to be slow-growing, the location of Scott’s makes his a little tougher and the best treatment a little unclear. We want this taken care of and to get a clearer picture of the long-term prognosis, but we want to be careful while considering all of the choices out there.

So we would appreciate it so much if you could bear with us, hang on while we work through these very confusing details (everybody has a different opinion about everything!), and continue praying for us and sending encouragement as God places us on your heart. We will definitely be sharing more practical ways that you can help as soon as we know more. But as I said, it’s probably going to take a couple more weeks before we get enough information to share.

In closing, we wanted to share this with you. We have been absolutely astonished by the flood of texts, emails, and Facebook posts of love and support.

One sweet friend brought us a dinner along with lots of fruit, fresh baked whole-wheat bread, and flowers. This was such an encouragement to our hearts.

Flowers from Bette Brinkerhoff

Another friend has kindly organized meals for the kids while Scott and I are in Tampa next week.

And one dear friend wrote us a letter and included a link to a song called, “Carry Me Through”  We have decided to grab onto this song as our theme song for this current chapter in our lives. It struck us as poignant for our situation. I have pasted the lyrics and the link at the end of this post. Take a minute and listen to it.

We can’t even find words to express how much it means to see what a beautiful circle of support God has built around our immediate family. Multiple times over the past few days, we have said to each other, “We are so loved!” We are awed. Thank you with all our hearts.

Here are the lyrics to our follow-God-through-cancer-theme-song, “Carry Me Through”:

There’s a mountain
Here before me
And I’m gonna climb it
With strength not my own

He’s gonna lead me
When the mountain beats me
Carry me through
Carry me through

There’s a river
Here before me
And I’m gonna cross it
With strength not my own

He’s gonna save me
When the river takes me
Carry me through
Carry me through

But, Lord, be gentle
I’m just a man
Please don’t crush me
With your heavenly hand

Oh, Lord, remember
I’ve tried so hard
I’m walking toward
Your kingdom, Lord

There’s a city
Here before me
And I’m gonna get there
With strength not my own

He’s gonna carry me
When I get weary
Carry me through
Carry me through

Oh, Lord, be gentle
I’m just a man
Please don’t crush me
With your heavenly hand

Oh, Lord, remember
I’ve tried so hard
I’m walking toward
Your kingdom, Lord

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Carry me through

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Oh, sweet Lord
Carry me through